1. The vomiter
Of course it’s your bad! You puked in my adorable clutch that I spent hours trying to match perfectly with my dress and a good chunk of my paycheck on! Douche.
2. Super judgey people watchers
Yes, I’m wearing flats at a bar because I didn’t want my feet to BLEED! I also didn’t change out of my work clothes. WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE!?
3. The way too emotionally expressive drunk
I barely know you, why are you hugging me? Hey, at least you’re happy.
And it’s all fun and games until the drunk flip switches, and they become…
4. The crier
Oh god. Is there anything worse?
5. The friend who WON’T SHUT UP (about some guy she just met)
I don’t want to hear about how you found your soul mate in this dive bar.
6. Insulting compliments
That face says it all.
7. The pack of looking-to-get-laid guys
And they’re always oddly persistent…
8. The dude (or chick) who immediately Facebook friends you
Can’t we at least get to know each other first?! And…you’re already into my high school promo photos…
9. The douchebag
There are no words.
10. The wrong drink
It looked so innocent just sitting there on the bar, approximately where I left my beautiful, wonderful (and expensive) drink. And…now I have herpes. Thank you random person for ruining my night.
I’m done. I am way too sober for this ish.
Tune in to the premiere of Mixology on Tuesday, February 26th at 9:30|8:30c on ABC.